Lock and Key
by rusticsky
Summary: Marianne is best known for being Jeanine Matthew's happier mini-me. But her Aptitude test results are... glitchy, to say the least. When the Choosing Ceremony comes, Marianne has to decide to do what is best for the faction, but more importantly, what is best for herself.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, the only things I own are the OCs.**

**I recently watched the Divergent movies again and reread the books, and then realized how much I loved them. So here's my first attempt at a Divergent fic. Please read and review and tell me what you like and don't like about it, I'd appreciate it!**

**Warning: There may be a Titanic reference :)**

Faction before blood. As I awaited my Aptitude Test, that was all I could think about. What if I wasn't placed in my faction? What if I had to leave my mother, whose happiness relied on me? My foot started tapping furiously, and when I tried to stop I simply couldn't.

All my life I wasn't raised to be a rowdy person. I was taught to follow the rules- to look down upon deception, to stand out as one of the most well-behaved. I was smart, too. Well of course I was- I was in Erudite after all. Erudite, a faction for the educated people who would drive our small world's intelligence. But would I remain in Erudite, or perhaps find myself in Abnegation of all places?

No, I wouldn't. I wasn't that selfless. I was a proud and selfish person, which I was well aware of. There were countless things that I'd done for my mother and me which had hurt others. I couldn't count how many friendships I'd broken off due to rude comments towards her and I. Because I, the daughter of Jeanine Matthews, could not bear to be insulted.

Countless attempts at self-reassurance were unsuccessful. It took a sharp tap on my shoulder to snap me out of my mess of emotions. I looked up only to see my mother. Great, just great… I frowned, concerned.

"Is it legal for you to be controlling my simulation, Mother?"

Jeanine cracked a smile. Her face was so beautiful when she smiled widely, yet the occasion was rare. I was the only person who ever witnessed these grins regularly. She was so cold to everyone, but she made an exception for me. "I created the serum, I think I have a right to test my daughter. Come on back, Marianne."

I was all too aware of the teenagers from other factions likely staring at us, but all was well once we stepped into a hallway and a room. A single chair laid in the middle of the room, a narrow console about five feet away from it.

"Take a seat."

I found the chair extremely unpleasant. I couldn't help but groan. Jeanine's eyes met mine for a moment, and she gave me an annoyed look before continuing with her set up. About a minute later she removed a shot glass from the console and transferred a blue liquid into it.

"You know what to do, Marianne. Listen to the instructions. Think."

"Very helpful, Mom," I sarcastically laughed, but then cleared my throat. "I promise, I'll make you proud."

"You already have."

Rarely have I heard such a sentiment coming from my mother. She was such a focused person most of the time, her thoughts barely ever focused on me. But today was the exception. Today she could worry about me for twenty minutes or so and give her work a break. She brushed the golden curls from my forehead and planted a kiss. I then took the shot glass from her and braced myself for the situation to come.

I found myself in a room, empty but for me and two pedestals displaying cheese and a knife. I blinked, and Jeanine appeared behind them. "Choose." I frowned. Neither had any context to it, so I would have to see what they would be used for.

"What is this for, a food fight?" I scoffed. I probably shouldn't have made such a bad joke in such a serious situation, but it hopefully would provide me with an answer. This would probably rule out Dauntless, though. Humor is a well-known defense mechanism.

"Choose, Marianne."

I stood my ground, frustrated. The system was frustrated too, I could tell because Jeanine suddenly disappeared.

A dog came rushing towards me, teeth bared, its fur mangled. _This isn't real… _I tried my best to remain calm, letting the dog take charge at me. _It's not real. _

I didn't close my eyes. As the dog neared my feet, I didn't budge. Out of nowhere, the once brutal dog became a puppy, wide-eyed and perky. It licked at my feet, so I carefully squatted down and pet it. I smiled, after all, I always had enjoyed dogs.

But I turned to see a little girl. She pointed at the puppy, and it turned, snarling. It took charge after her. I stood up, yelling at the girl to go away, but instead, it took her down and-

I blinked and the room disappeared. I was no longer inside. I stood on the bow of a ship at sunset, looking out at a never-ending ocean. Water pounded in my ears, the wind blowing my hair everywhere. I smiled yet I was confused. This was what the sea looked like. This is what it felt like to be truly free…

"Hey."

I turned to see a tall, rough man with a large scar over his right eyebrow. He snickered, crossing his arms. "What's a pretty girl like you doin' ou' 'ere?"

I scoffed, "What's a brute like you doing questioning my presence?"

"Hohoh, blondie 'ere's a spitfire, in't she? I can take care o' that," he began advancing toward me. However, his pace was slow, allowing time for me to think. _If it's just a simulation, I could jump… _My fingers grasped the metal rail. _No, I need to participate. I want those results. _

"Hey, is that an eagle?" I said suddenly, pointing to the sky behind the man. This gave me enough time to climb up onto the rail. What else could I do? I didn't have enough time to think. So naturally, I dived.

I broke the surface, but once I did so I was standing on land again. _I'm on dry ground. _What a relief. I was in the center of the city, a bus pulling up. The doors opened, and a man came out suddenly. He was elderly, his messy hair white. I could smell the urine from where I stood. He was a factionless, yet he held a paper up and was approaching me.

"Do you know this man?"

My eyes only briefly skimmed over the paper, yet I recognized the man almost immediately. I had no words for his name, but I believed he was a coworker of my mother's at some point. I took a deep breath. This man did not seem like one to trust.

"If I knew him, what would that mean to you?"

He grunted, "Do you know him or not?"

I frowned. "I do not, I'm sorry."

The man growled, "Yes you do, I can see the fear in your eyes."

"I do, are you happy?"

Everything went black. My vision came back again. Then it went away. Jeanine was frustrated with something. Maybe I could call out… if I did so would she hear?

"Mom, Mom what's wrong?"

She wouldn't be able to reply. I should've known better.

I opened my eyes, and I was back in the chair in the room. Jeanine's brow furrowed as she looked down at the tablet she held. She then looked up at me, lips parted as if she was going to speak, but I could see in her eyes that she didn't know what to say.

I was the one to speak. "What's wrong?"

Jeanine spoke plainly, though her eyes were wide. "You're Erudite." Her words did not sound firm. She didn't believe what she was saying.

"Mother, you don't need to lie. What are my results?"

"Erudite." She cleared her throat, looking down again. "There was a glitch in the system, but I resolved it."

"Mmm…" I nodded slowly, though my face didn't show any signs of joy. How could I be happy when the lie could have hit me in the face?

Jeanine put the tablet down and offered me a hug. "You're going to do well." Her voice was monotone as if she said that to every teenager who took the test. It wasn't warm, not motherly.

Sometimes the most frightening part of a hug is that you can't see the other person's face.

* * *

There was only a day in between the test and the Choosing Ceremony. A day to decide to stay or leave. I had no choice, really, but to stay. My mother needed me. Faction before blood was the same to me. I was Erudite, so it made sense if I stayed for my mother. It wouldn't be sensible to leave where I belonged. Yet Jeanine's strange reaction after the test worried me. There were no glitches in Jeanine's programming, it was far too perfected. Had Jeanine lied about my result?

What would there be to lie about, though? Me getting abnegation as my result? Even the thought of that was humorous. Jeanine should've known getting that result wouldn't sway me- I was far too stubborn and focused on school to go anywhere but Erudite.

But none of that mattered, I constantly reminded myself. I was choosing Erudite.

The next morning came. I was able to sleep in till eight, an hour later than usual. I'd hung up a blue and white pantsuit. We'd decided that I'd wear my hair in its natural curls, full and wavy. My mother had had a major say in my appearance, but I had to agree that it was a respectable outfit.

We left an hour later, walking at a quick pace through the city. The ceremony was at ten and Jeanine was required to be there half an hour before the event. The streets were lined with factionless, begging at our feet. I always hated walking through the city for this very reason, but Jeanine insisted on walking so that she could record observations about the factionless. This probably had something to do with the Abnegation who fed and clothed the factionless.

I walked close to my mother. When I was little I would grab onto her arm and hold tightly, afraid of the factionless. I had never really outgrown that fear. If a factionless man or woman grew too near for my liking, I practically would put myself on the curbside. Jeanine always seemed so annoyed when I did so, but she never would comment.

I was only afraid of three things. Bad grades, factionless, and my mother.

That morning my mother was not in a pleasant mood. She was dedicated to getting to the Hub on time. There was very little exchange between us, she was absorbed in her thoughts.

We approached the Hub and entered through the back. That's where everyone official entered. The Faction leaders were meeting in a backroom, and I found my way into the main hall. I joined the other Eurdite teens, sitting between a redhead (who I'd never really spoken to; she acted like she was above us all) and a brunette (her name was Bridget; she was extremely sweet but an airhead).

Bridget offered me a smile. "Good morning, Marianne."

"Good morning, Bridget. How is your day going?"

"I'm terrified," Bridget chose to cut straight to the point. "My parents are going to hate me for what I choose. But I can't see myself staying here, you know? I'm just not smart enough."

I nodded, with an understanding look. "That's a wise decision." I bit back the urge to agree with her. "We'll miss you."

"Thanks," Bridget smiled, though it could not mask her evident fear.

I looked towards the bowls. One for each faction. Amity, Abnegation, Candor, Dauntless, and Erudite. Soil, stone, glass, embers, and water. Our blood will soon penetrate each bowl, as has been countlessly done before. I was lost in thought when the redhead spoke in my direction.

"You nervous, Matthews?"

I turned, to look the redhead in the eyes. It was embarrassing that I did not know her name, but she was such a bitch that she'd probably transfer to Dauntless or Candor anyway. I'd just have to avoid using names.

"No, are you?"

The girl scoffed. "Of course not. I just figure you'd be, seeing that your mother is going to be extremely disappointed when you transfer to Amity."

My mouth was probably wide open. "Excuse me?" I was not in any way similar to those of Amity. It took everything I had for me to not give the girl a piece of my mind.

"You aren't denying it? Damn girl, I thought I was wrong about you and I am not."

Okay, the redhead wasn't the only one to have tormented me. It just came with being the daughter of a feared leader. People were jealous.

I rolled my eyes. "I am not choosing Amity. I can't say the same for you, though. Or are you choosing to be a Stiff?"

That set her off. She looked like she wanted to punch me, but my mother prevented her from doing so. Erudite had the responsibility of hosting the Choosing Ceremony this year, something my mother had failed to inform me of. Probably to ease my nerves. All of her words seemed so robotic, but they did year after year no matter what leader was speaking.

I was going to choose in the middle of the ceremony. The first boy to choose was a boy from Candor who looked especially smug as he let his hand bleed onto the glass. The first transfer was a girl from Dauntless into Amity, a choice which sparked many eyebrows to raise in confusion. The majority of transfers, though, were coming from Erudite and Abnegation. After transfers out of Erudite I'd glance up at my mother, and she looked all too displeased. The redhead was one of these people, into Candor. I guess she was painfully honest.

I was keeping a note of all of the Abnegation transfers; there had been at least ten so far. Most notable was the transfer of Tobias Eaton from Abnegation to Dauntless. He was the son of Marcus, one of the council members of Abnegation. There was one transfer from Abnegation into Erudite, but the kid got to the Erudite section and started trash-talking so annoyingly that Jeanine had a man throw him out.

"Marianne Matthews."

Finally, my time had come. I walked onto the stage, my heart beating quickly. I was handed the knife. I was hesitant, but I sliced my skin open. It stung like a bitch, but I bit back the pain. I walked to the water and let my blood pour into the bowl. I didn't even hesitate.

There was polite applause from Erudite. When I went back, I was a bit disappointed about how quickly my moment had come and gone. But I was where I belonged. I knew that.

* * *

The rest of the Ceremony was dull. Abnegation had a total of fifteen transfers, just as my mother had predicted.

It was finally time to leave, and I joined the other initiates in the exit. I wouldn't get back to Jeanine and I's apartment until late, and I would have to be up at seven the next day. I kept to myself as I walked, preferring to not get into frustrating conversations with the other initiates.

About halfway through our trip, a boy started talking to me. He was a Dauntless transfer, but he spoke as if he'd been around intellectuals his entire life.

"You're Jeanine's daughter, correct?"

"Yes, I am," I nodded, smiling. I didn't like it when the first thing people brought up was my mother, but it was at least nice of them to know who I was.

"She's one scary lady," the boy laughed. "I bet you've seen way worse from her, though."

I laughed and nodded. "I have, but at least she's on top of me. My mother is very persistent."

The boy smiled, "What's your name? I hate to admit I can't remember."

"Marianne."

"Great, Mary. I'm Adrian."

"I'm so sorry Adrian, but my biggest pet peeve is being called Mary."

Adrian bit his lip. "Sorry, sorry. Marianne, its a pleasure to meet you."

"And you. Are you excited to be in Erudite?"

Adrian nodded. "I'm so glad to finally be somewhere where I'm not ashamed of being a smart ass."

I grinned, "We don't exactly take pride in being smart asses, Adrian."

His smile disappeared. "So you're saying that I have to be civil?"

"Well, yes..."

He laughed, "You don't think I know that? I'm teasing, Marianne. Lighten up a little."

I smiled, "Sorry, I'm just not used to 'funny business'." I put air-quotes around the end of the sentence. Adrian nodded.

"I've been around it all my life. To summarize, Dauntless is a faction of a-holes."

"You included, Adrian?"

He hesitated, "What do you think, Marianne?"

I smiled, "Well my first impression is probably especially biased, but you seem a young man of ill taste in tormenting a certain Marianne Matthews. Insufferable, a smart-ass, however, good looking."

"You think so?" Adrian raised an eyebrow. "Well, I think this Marianne Matthews girl is pretty beautiful herself. She needs to loosen up and stop acting like her mom's looking over her shoulder all the time. Too much of a goody goody."

"That sounds just about right. But maybe this Marianne has a side no one sees in her. Maybe she's only trying to please her mom-" I stopped myself. "We're almost to headquarters, then."

Adrian slipped his hands into his pockets. "Appears so. Is it fancy? I'm not exactly formally dressed."

I shook my head. "You'll be fine, Adrian. You're a transfer, they won't expect you to fit in at first. Stay by me for now and you'll be fine."

We entered the building and I could not help myself but look over at Adrian every few minutes. He was a tall boy of about six feet, athletic too. His curly brown hair fell onto his face and he was constantly moving it out of the way. He was tan but not too tan- just about right. His prominent green eyes were just the perfect finishing touch on a gorgeous face; so rich that I couldn't stop looking at them.

The officials were giving their speeches on the faction, but I was too focused on Adrian to listen to them. I could just talk to my mother and receive the same, if not better, explanation.

Soon the time came for the initiates to be split up. I cleared my throat. "Adrian, good luck. I hope to see you later."

He smiled, "I hope to see you too, blondie."

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Get on your way, I don't want to see you getting kicked out on your first day."

"You too," he laughed, before following the group and waving goodbye.

I turned and saw the group leaders, frustrated that I was so distracted.

"Marianne, you may be Jeanine's kid but you can't be chasing boys around instead of paying attention. Come on," the group leader (a man named Colton- probably the most irrelevant man in all of Erudite) called after me. I nodded, mumbling an apology, and rejoined the group.

* * *

The initiation process for Erudite-born initiates consisted simply of study sessions and tests. They assumed we'd already been taught all the information.

I had been taught the information over and over again. Jeanine made a point of it to ensure my success in the Faction. I was all too prepared for the mass of tests which I'd be required to take, and Jeanine was to thank.

I'd decided on becoming a Reporter, a respectable and important decision which greatly affected my studies and home life. I was constantly reading the paper and making annotations. I'd written a great many articles and at fourteen I'd had two published. With a good argument, I'd somehow convinced Jeanine to not make me become a journalist.

I got home the first night of initiation, exhausted. Jeanine wasn't going to be getting home for an hour or so, so I crashed on the couch and read through my textbook.

An hour later, Jeanine opened the door, looking stressed. "Marianne, now that your initiation is beginning, I'd like you to focus on the sciences." She entered the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the stove. I was appalled.

"Mother, you have to be joking! We agreed that it was alright if I became a reporter! You said that you wanted to have an insider on the press!"

"Well, priorities change. I'm sorry, Marianne, but its whats best for the faction."

My mouth gaped open. I was speechless. "M- mom!"

Jeanine turned sharply, "If you know what's best for _you, _you'll follow my instruction."

No further conversation was exchanged between us until Jeanine poured us both a cup of tea.

"I heard from Colton that you've found… a distraction."

I rolled my eyes. Everything from Jeanine tonight was critical.

"I'm a sixteen-year-old female. There are bound to be plenty of distractions."

Jeanine sat down next to me and took a sip of her tea. "There shouldn't be. You need to focus on your initiation, not on teenage boys."

"You act like you were so clean as a teenager."

Jeanine nearly spilled her tea. "You little brat. Don't you know that I didn't have half of the study help that you've had? I struggled-_struggled!-t_hrough the same initiation which you will glide through. My parents were too busy doing irrelevant studies on trees to make time for me, but I manage to juggle helping you and leading an entire faction and get criticized for it! So yes, maybe I was a troubled teenager, but I have people to blame for it! You have no one to blame but yourself."

I was so tense. I was so frustrated, so angry, but I had to hold it back. I couldn't explode on her.

"That's right, you have nothing to say. Get to bed, Marianne. Please."

I sighed, before getting up and walking out of the room. I peeked back at Jeanine, who sat on the couch alone with her tea. Her eyes were closed, and she breathed slowly. We didn't have a perfect relationship. I think it was because we were both far too stubborn and self-absorbed. But tonight, Jeanine looked neither of which. She legitimately looked like she was stressed.

What over, though? Our fight could not be quite that stressful. She had been worked up all day today. Had something gone wrong with the Aptitude tests? Even worse, had something gone wrong with mine?

And then it hit me. My test hadn't glitched. It had gone perfectly well until Jeanine, well, gave up. I stopped in the middle of my tracks. _Holy shit. I'm Divergent. _

This realization should've come sooner. I should've fucking-excuse my language-confronted Jeanine about the glitch. I was such an idiot. Did I even align with Erudite? Was I in fucking Abnegation? My thoughts were spiraling out of control. I lost all censors, all reason.

Consequently, I fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry that it took so long to get this written! I find that writing difficult conversations (there are a few in this chapter) are difficult to write, so it took quite a while to work through the chapter. I will focus more on the Initiation in the upcoming chapters, and soon enough the fanfiction will cross with the events of Divergent. For now, though, please read (review if you like, too) and enjoy it!**

**Again, I don't own the world of Divergent or any of the books referenced. The only pieces I own are Marianne, this specific plot/writing, and the other initiates!**

I opened my eyes to find myself in my bed. It was dark out. Quiet.

"There was a glitch in the system, but I resolved it."

A glitch. There weren't just glitches in Jeanine's system. A glitch in her system could only mean one thing. An anomaly. A divergent.

Jeanine sat at the foot of my bed. She held a mug, one that was always filled with coffee (but by the distressed look on Jeanine's face, it was most likely alcohol).

I couldn't bear to make eye contact with her. I was disappointed. I was an anomaly- what she hated most. What she'd kill.

"Are you feeling alright, Marianne?"

No, I wasn't feeling alright. I was as far from alright as was humanly possible.

Still, I nodded. "Yes, what happened?"

"You collapsed, right after we… I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have lost it on you."

Why not, though? Wasn't I an imperfection to the world? In her eyes, did I even matter?

I was caught up in a state of emotional stupidity. Without thinking, I did the furthest thing from reasonable. I blurted out, "Am I Divergent?"

I prayed- prayed that Jeanine would ask me why I'd think so and turn me down almost immediately. I wanted to hear the impossible truth, for her to tell me that I was as Erudite as possible, that I was purely tied to one faction like I was supposed to be. But Jeanine didn't. Instead, there was an awkward silence. Jeanine looked down at her hands, clearly thinking to herself about how to reply to such a blunt, straight-forward question. I stared at her, dying in anticipation of her answer. I already dreadfully regretted bringing up the subject.

"Yes, you are," she replied, voice rather distressed. I wasn't what she wanted me to be. I could see the pain in her eyes. "But I love you, Marianne. You're different from the others in so many ways. In good ways."

I didn't say anything. What was there to say?

"You will do well in Erudite, that I know. How you are Divergent, I-" Jeanine was at a loss for words. She shook her head. "Just don't tell anyone, Marianne. No one can know that I've made an exception."

I nodded without hesitation. It was almost a shock that Jeanine was being so lenient, yet at the same time, it was reassuring. It meant that she wasn't a total tyrant. We were quiet for a moment. I looked down at the blanket which covered me, hesitant to reply.

"You've always called Divergents monsters. "Does that mean-" My voice seemed so small. I was quiet, far too easily showing how scared I was. It was an unspoken rule as a Matthews to never be openly emotional. We both were supposed to be so strong, so powerful…

"Don't even think about it," Jeanine grabbed my hand. "You're a prodigy. My prodigy." She stared into my eyes, her cold gaze harsh. I grew quite nervous, but I didn't tear away. "The others may be monsters, but you're the furthest thing from them."

"I love you, Mom," I whispered. She leaned over and pulled me into a hug. I was shaking, absolutely terrified. Her reassurance had done nothing. She told me I could trust her, but in my experience, no one could trust Jeanine, not even her own daughter.

* * *

Class the next day was boresome. They attempted to teach us the basics of genetics. I knew everything from Pedigree charts to DNA replication due to prior knowledge, so it was more of a review than anything. I took detailed notes due to habit. It usually was smart to go off teacher provided knowledge rather than my own (I tended to be right, but there were rare occasions where my understanding of a subject was flawed).

We met with the transfers for lunch to help integrate them into our faction. Adrian, being the flirt that he was, took a seat at my table. Quite a few other transfers did the same. Normally, no one would speak to me. Growing up, the only reasons people talked to me were to get close to me so they someday might be noticed by Jeanine Matthews. But through that, Adrian didn't strike me as that sort of person- he seemed like he genuinely wanted to get to know me.

Everyone went around the table and introduced themselves. We began with Adrian and then went clockwise.

"I'm Amy, former Candor," a redhead introduced herself with a slight smile. Amy was easily the prettiest of the group- I was nowhere near as striking as she yet Adrian didn't seem all too interested in her, even though she looked absolutely gorgeous in her blue outfit.

"Brad, Amity," said a lean boy with glasses and messy blonde hair.

"Evangeline, Candor."

"Jade, Amity."

Jade and Evangeline looked like sisters. You would never have been able to tell they weren't from the same faction of origin. They were both brunettes with the prettiest hazel eyes.

"Jack, Dauntless."

Jack was nothing special, at least in my eyes. He had light hair, cut too close to his head. His hair offset his entire appearance. Muscles didn't do everything for him.

I was never going to remember a single one of their names. That was a guarantee.

When it was my turn, the group was a little shocked upon being reminded of who my mother was, or maybe they were more shocked by Adrian's bold move to sit with me. Either way, the table seemed quite surprised.

"No way, you're Jeanine's daughter? I thought that was someone else!" Evangeline gasped, wide-eyed.

I nodded, "Yes, that's me." I didn't care to discuss the subject in detail, it was something I had to explain constantly. No one would accept it normal to be the daughter of Erudite's leader- they were either impressed or intimidated with no compromise.

The table went around discussing their fears for the upcoming exams. They all seemed so anxious when compared to the more experienced Erudite-born.

Jade and Evangeline were pleasant for the most part. Jade seemed to have the intelligence that was needed to thrive in Erudite, but Evangeline seemed to be a bit too soft for such a hard-edged faction. Erudite wasn't for the weak, it took persistence and tenacity to succeed. Jack would fit in just well, he was no catch but certainly had the brains to pass the initiation. And then there was Adrian.

Adrian, the smartass who made the bold moves- the boy who dared speak with someone who others despised out of fear. Talking with him in a group made me admire him even more. He spoke with assurance, confident with his words. He'd grown up somewhere full of brutes and came out a scholar.

If I'd grown up in a different faction, I might die. I could not possibly imagine being denied books and research material (outside of school). The others had all easily managed, but it wasn't of my character to do well without education. Seeing this new group really opened my eyes to the privilege I had, being in Erudite my whole life.

"So what positions do you think you'll explore?" I asked thoughtfully, in an attempt to drive the conversation in a way that could be further used to my advantage. "I'm going to focus on sciences, as one would expect from me, probably." I laughed.

"Haven't really thought about it," Evangeline admitted with a shrug. "I'm too focused on trying not to fail my exams."

Jade nodded in agreement, "I'm with the Candor, but now that I do think of it, probably something related to books. I'm not a science sort of gal." Almost everyone but for Adrian and I mumbled something in agreement.

"And you, Adrian? You don't seem to be with the rest of the group," I spoke with a slight smile. "Care to tell us your interest?"

"I hope to become a teacher, Marianne. I want to teach others about how our world works. I think it's astonishing how few people take a moment to value education. Without good teachers, none of us would be here in Erudite right now. Our entire society would not function," Adrian shrugged. "I just think it's necessary that we, as people, take our chance to help better our society's future."

"That's a very thorough answer," I laughed a bit, "I wasn't expecting that from you."

"What were you expecting, then?" Adrian frowned, "Just because I'm from Dauntless doesn't mean that I'm any less thoughtful than you."

"I-" I couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed. I hadn't meant to put Adrian down like that, and after rethinking what I'd said, it did sound quite rude. "I'm sorry, Adrian. Remind me to watch my tongue."

"Noted," Adrian said with an eye-roll.

"When does class start again?" I wondered aloud. "I'm yet to memorize the schedule."

Almost immediately after I finished speaking, the bell rang. Erudite did not tend to give long lunch breaks; the more time wasted eating was less time advancing.

"I'll see you all on Monday," I said with a smile, "It's been nice to meet you!"

"You too, Marianne," Evangeline grinned, "Goodbye!"

When we parted, Adrian barely said a word. Our brief conversation had ticked him off. I feel horrible about the whole ordeal, but I had greater things to worry about. For example, my performance in my next class. If I didn't come at the top of Initiation, I would most likely be slaughtered by Jeanine, who tended to have high standards for me. She was so controlling of my life.

* * *

After the Initiation classes, I returned home. I was shocked to see my mother sitting down and laughing on the couch with a man. I don't think a male had entered our house since we had to get our shower fixed seven years ago. Even more shocking, Jeanine was supposed to be at work. Who could this man be to coax her out of her practice?

I entered quietly, not wanting to bother Jeanine and the stranger. I was overcome with curiosity but my brain told me not to intrude on whatever was taking place on the couch. I sat criss-cross applesauce on my bed, a set of notecards in front of me. I sighed, not entirely in the right mentality for studying. There was a lot on my mind. Adrian, Jeanine, and the man.

About five minutes later, I stood up and walked into the kitchen to make myself some chamomile tea. Jeanine was still talking to him- they seemed to get on well. She hadn't even noticed my coming in.

The two stood up and Jeanine looked in my direction. She looked at the man and said something quietly so I couldn't hear. It took me a moment to realize why. This man wasn't Erudite- he was Abnegation. It was Andrew Prior, one of the council members. I looked back and forth between Jeanine and Andrew with shock.

"Marianne," said Jeanine, her face free of worry, "This is Andrew Prior. He's visiting regarding a question I had about Abnegation for research."

"Oh," I nodded and smiled ever so slightly. "Would either of you like some tea? I'm just putting the kettle on now."

Andrew shook his head, "No thanks, I'm just leaving."

"I'll have a cup, Marianne. Thank you."

Jeanine led Andrew out and reentered a minute or so later.

"I'm sorry that took so long, Marianne. The two of us hadn't talked in years."

"It's okay, Mom. I don't mind. I'm just glad that you're actually conversing with the Abnegation. A year ago, I know you wouldn't have dared to think so."

"I wouldn't have up until yesterday," Jeanine sighed. "But things change. People change. And that's what I'm trying to do."

"Oh."

I was actually quite surprised. Jeanine was somehow seriously trying to change her actions as a result of my Divergence.

"So how are your classmates?" Jeanine quickly tried to change the subject. "Are there any transfers I should know about?"

I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. "None of who I've talked to are going to pursue the sciences. Besides, most everyone seems sweet, not durable."

"Well, I'd assume you'd call that boy sweet," Jeanine's words came off as harsh. I could tell her tone was not at all how she'd intended to sound.

I sighed, "Will I ever be allowed to keep my affections private? If it makes you happy, I do not care for him anymore. He misinterpreted something and made far too big of a deal about it."

Jeanine almost looked disappointed, yet her words offset her appearance. "That's less of a distraction, Marianne. You'll be better off for it." There was relief in her voice. I could only assume she was glad that I wouldn't be the center of trouble. She looked down, avoiding my eyes. "Have I ever told you about my experiences with men?"

"No, I don't think so," I said with a frown. She'd always been so quiet about my father, not giving anything away. I think it was because she was ashamed of their relationship.

"When I was fifteen, I was madly in unrequited love with an Erudite boy. Andrew Prior. He transferred out of Erudite into Abnegation, and a few years later I heard that he was married to a woman named Natalie. You can imagine how heartbroken I was."

There was a moment of silence. I slowly nodded, "That must've been… horrible."

"I swore off men for a few years, but eventually a man came along named Ethan and we started pursuing a relationship, but as time went by I realized I still loved Andrew. I was only with Ethan because it felt good to be loved…" Jeanine looked down, her shame all too evident. For once, I knew that she wasn't lying.

"I was greedy- I wanted and received a love that I didn't return. But Ethan was so damn clueless. About seventeen years ago, I discovered that I was pregnant with you. But before I could even tell Ethan- I'd kept my secret for as long as I could- he died in a lab accident. The guilt has haunted me ever since. I've always told you to avoid boys… I don't want you ever to be heartbroken. I was so jealous of the Priors that I let my own affairs spiral out of hand."

I was absolutely speechless. Jeanine had had all that pain cooped up for years, and only now was \ sharing that information with me. How could I react? For someone as intelligent as me, I had no clue how to answer her. I was never good at talking to her, to begin with. And… and to know that my father was dead, that Jeanine hadn't even loved him. I only knew one way to respond.

I took a deep breath. I suddenly realized I hadn't even noticed the kettle's whistle. "Let me finish the tea."

I tried to ignore Jeanine's frustration- she was drumming her worn-down fingernails on the white marble counter. "Marianne, I told you this because I believe it will be beneficial to you. I'm sorry you're struggling to process it, but it's all I can do to help explain my train of thought. I'm a very complex person, and I do everything for a reason. If you can't accept this, then we might have a problem."

"Mother, I do understand your reasoning, I've just wondered about my father for years and now you tell me that you were- are!- in love with this other man instead of my father the whole time! According to your story, I wasn't born out of love- I was born out of jealousy and regret! And that you might judge me for not knowing how to react? Act rationally!"

I went to bed without eating that night.

* * *

I did not speak with Jeanine until the next morning. It was the weekend, to my relief, which meant no stress for a temporary period of time. No stress besides the inevitable argument which would take place when my mother set eyes on me.

The first thing I did was make a shitload of black tea. I would need the caffeine boost. Jeanine wasn't awake, to my relief, so I picked a leisure reading book out of our bookshelf (a romantic novel set far, far before the factions) and plopped down on the couch.

The novel, _Sense and Sensibility_, was written about three sisters (funnily enough, one was named Marianne) and their mother who were forced out of their estate due to their half-brother inheriting it. The elder two sisters were best friends. I'd never had a friendship like that with anybody. The only constant aspects of my life were my love-hate relationship with my mother and the resulting academic pressures.

I yearned to have a friendship, but so many factors of my life prevented me from having one. My reputation was in no means positive, but that wasn't my fault. It resulted from Jeanine being an absolute force of nature and causing all of her inferiors to have an intimidation-spawned hatred for she and I. I didn't deserve any of the hate I received. I never gave any hate in return- I never had the nerve when it involved a fellow Erudite. I was a relatively respectful child, all too timid due to consistent scoldings.

I became lost in the Dashwood siblings' affairs. It was a good hour before a well-rested Jeanine came walking out of her bedroom door and into our living room. There were circles under her eyes- she went straight to the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of iced tea. Neither of us spoke a word- I occasionally glanced up from my book to see what she was doing. Absolutely nothing. Jeanine stared off into space as she stood at the counter, drinking her tea.

I didn't know what to say, but I felt like I needed to break the silence. I was doing myself no good by not talking to her. I _needed _to talk to her. I needed to explain what I did at school yesterday. I needed to express my apology. But most importantly, I needed her to tell me about my father. The truth had finally come out, and I'd reacted in the worst way possible.

I honestly think the few things I enjoyed most in conversation were the sharing of stories, ideas, and opinions. Never before had I reacted so negatively to a simple, innocent story. However, that was the problem, Jeanine's story hadn't been innocent. She'd lied to a man and told him that she loved him, while at the same time she was still pining after a man whom she could never truly love. In the depths of my mind, her situation reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara, Rhett Butler, and Ashley Wilkes, except this time around, the woman had the power.

Despite all this, I had neglected her feelings and that wasn't okay. I had put my own overwhelming emotions first, being entirely inconsiderate. I know that's what Abnegation stood against, and that it was wrong (according to Jeanine) to think any of their values remotely right, but at that moment in time, I was so overcome with guilt.

"I'm sorry," I admitted, having dreaded the words for too long. Jeanine said nothing, her mind evidently still elsewhere. I looked down at my hands, not knowing how to make the silence less awkward. I hated apologies and hard conversations in general. What was there to do to distract yourself from the inevitable clashing of thoughts?

Jeanine finally spoke while walking over to where I sat. "Marianne, it was a difficult piece of information to take in. You had every right to react the way you did. Did it hurt me? Well, yes, but I needed to hear it." She took a seat across from me. "You're a much stronger person than I was at your age. I was always too emotionally attached to one boy and you seem to hop from crush to crush with little care. I wish I would've been more like you."

I… that was the most flattering thing she'd ever said to me in the sixteen years of my life. I had in no means expected anything kind like that to come out of her mouth, ever. That just wasn't her personality. No matter how much Jeanine faked kindness to others, I always received the full blow of her true hatred and remorse for the world.

I returned her smile, completely lost in the kindness of her words. "Thank you so much, Mom." I meant it with all my heart. I didn't care if Jeanine was lying or if it was the truth- those words had come out of her mouth and that's all I could focus on.

Jeanine flashed me a smile and stood up. "I'm going to go for a walk outside. Care to join me?"

"Of course," I nodded, setting my book aside.

We walked through the neatly-kept experimental herb gardens for a good amount of time, occasionally chatting with one another but keeping to ourselves for the most part. The two of us were such a quiet pair, both introverted and intellectual. Like mother like daughter, we always joked, and it wasn't exactly a lie. I had no clue how I could be Divergent when I was so similar to the pure Erudite preceding me. Jeanine was the model Erudite, and I'd lived my entire life trying to be like her. The only difference was the true warmth to my personality that Jeanine, for the most part, lacked. Jeanine's smiles were a facade.

The quiet was suddenly brought to an end as a young boy of about five came sprinting through, nearly knocking me over. Following him was an older girl (probably seven) who looked up at Jeanine and me with some intimidation. She slowed when she neared us.

"I'm sorry for my brother," she said innocently, "He doesn't understand that there's no running in the greenhouse."

Jeanine leaned down and smiled at the girl. "Boys will be boys, don't they?" She said with a laugh. "Make sure he learns his lesson. The rules are there for good reason."

The little girl nodded and began quickly walking after her brother, careful not to run in Jeanine's presence.

"Is it hard being so powerful?" I looked at my mother with a frown. "You receive no real kindness. Every interaction is pleasant out of fear."

Jeanine lowered her chin, her gaze focused on the ground in front of her. She began walking again. "It was hard at first, Marianne, I assure you, but after a few years with the job I've grown used to it, as you someday will too. I know you experience a dulled version of how people treat me, and you'll toughen with time. I promise."

I found that we couldn't walk fifteen feet without a cold hello from an exhausted scientist. Our conversation back in the greenhouse had been painfully true, but I knew that Jeanine would never admit to that. She was all about success and moving on through tough times, never stopping to admit quite how hard the pain was.

Once we were back at the apartment, I decided to get back to my reading. Jeanine disappeared onto the balcony, likely reading over records or working on her anti-Abnegation propaganda. I hated her propaganda with a passion, but I knew that it was what I would be stuck in charge of writing if I was not to take Jeanine's place someday. I could help our society out much more if I were running everything. I wouldn't change too much in the ways of how Erudite runs, but I would try to solve our issues with Abnegation. Jeanine's major fault as a leader was her hate toward her superiors.

A quiet weekend lightened my stress from the pending initiation, but more weeks lie ahead. In ten days, I would take my first exam. In ten days, I was expected to get the highest score out of everyone. The task may have seemed difficult, but it was nothing a Matthews couldn't handle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Hi! It's been ages since I last updated but strangely, amidst all this chaos, I had the will and muse to pick this fanfiction back up. And I wrote down some notes regarding the fic- back when I had muse for it.**

**So I think most of all I'd like to say that I wrote Marianne's POV as I would any other teenage character, with just a bit more of a formal tone and clearly her perspectives. Even though I'm smart, I'm not smart to the point where my writing will echo a more experienced author's. I'm a high school sophomore who writes fanfiction and roleplays, so it won't be the best out there.**

**And I'm writing her relationship with Jeanine as I'd imagine it'd be- the two love each other, but they're both so self-driven and prideful to where arguments tend to spiral out of control. And for the most part, she addresses her mother as Mom, but in her POV calls her Jeanine just to show Marianne's sense of respect and obedience.**

**Marianne's divergence, also, is fairly weak. In the second movie (which isn't at all like the book, I know), where they have the senors, she'd likely receive a rating of about 25%. Her true aptitude, which will never be mentioned in this fanfiction, is for Erudite and Dauntless, though it heavily sways towards Erudite.**

**I no longer have muse for this particular version of the fic- I think I'm going to rewrite it on Wattpad, so if you want to check that out I'm under the same name on there.**

It was the morning of my first exam, and needless to say, I was stressed out beyond belief. Not even chamomile tea could calm my nerves. There I was- Marianne Jane Matthews, one of the most intelligent teenage minds- worried over a test. Granted, I would do fine. My mother would make sure to put me where I belonged. But there was always a possibility that I might fail, one that lurked over my head. I wouldn't expect my mother to show any failed student mercy- not even to me, her own daughter. I laid in bed for five minutes before my alarm was to go off, mind lost in thought before I took deep breaths. It was going to be alright- I was a Matthews, and I needed to remember that.

To the exams, I would wear a blue patterned skirt, paired with a white buttoned shirt which I tucked in, and on my feet were a pair of blue slip-on sneakers. My hair was in a ponytail, the messy curls at the bottom dangling down. I wore the glasses provided to me, though I would need to take them off during the exam (I did not need the glasses, but it was custom for the Erudite to wear them). To anyone else, I might've looked over the top and preppy. But overall my outfit was more comfortable than cute, so I didn't mind too much.

My morning routine almost never changed; wake up, change out of my pajamas, eat and have a cup of tea, fix my hair, and brush my teeth, before finding my way to whatever I needed to get done for the day. Jeanine wasn't there that morning- a shocker, I know. Instead, she left me a handwritten note with four words written on it in her hurried handwriting. It read, "Good luck. Love you." I took the paper, folded it carefully, and stuck it into my bra (while I did want it with me, I knew any alien piece of paper was subject to inspection and could potentially land a failure due to "cheating," so my bra seemed like the only logical place to keep it).

About thirty minutes after my alarm went off, I was out the door. It was 8:30 am, my exams in an hour. It was close to a fifteen-minute trek from our apartment to the schooling areas, and I wanted to be there extra early to "ensure my success," as Jeanine always seemed to say. Better to be safe than sorry.

I kept a steady pace, but inside my mind was racing. I wasn't all too focused on where I was going, only that I needed to get there, which was quite silly, actually, because I did tend to be more clumsy than not. I was desperately trying to recall formulas, facts- whatever my head could muster.

Almost out of nowhere came another person, coming from behind and knocking me down. As I fell, I let out a cry, before landing on the ground. "Damnit…" I mumbled, before picking up my small bag. I then went to help the other person, eyes focused on the ground as I did so.

"I'm so sorry…" I recognized that voice…

"No, you're completely alright!"

I looked up, only to see Adrian. Out of self-consciousness, I reached to my face to move an invisible, nonexistent piece of hair. Adrian too looked up, and upon seeing me offered a soft smile. I frowned, utterly confused with what to do with this situation. I'd made a fool of myself those few weeks ago, and facing my mistake now, minutes away from my exams, was not what I needed.

"It's been quite a while, Miss Matthews," Adrian's lips curled into a smirk.

"Has it? I completely forgot about you," I retorted, before getting to my feet again. I began walking again, the urge to get away all too strong. I absolutely _hated _my occasional stupidity, and facing my foolishness was utterly horrible!

"Are you headed to your exams?" Adrian followed and continued on as if I'd never said anything rude. "I'm scheduled for the later block of them, at two-thirty."

"Yes I am, so leave me be."

Adrian let out a dramatic sigh. "Hey, I just wanted to wish Miss Genius here good luck."

"Thank you, but do you realize how this is uncalled for? I insulted you all those weeks ago-"

"A little over a week."

"Right- a little over a week ago- but the reality is that you should be angry! You're supposed to not want to talk to me? Look, Adrian- I don't need your kind words right now, I just need the ability to focus on my work, and you're preventing me from doing so!"

"You're saying utter bullshit!"

I scoffed, "Excuse me?"

"Can't you see that I don't give a crap about what you said to me a week or so ago? We all make mistakes, right? You included. And don't think about me, just focus on the exams. You're kind of like an insane… smart, AI."

"I beg your pardon! Just so you know, Adrian, it's possible to have a high IQ and still be perfectly human!" There was nothing more that he could say to possibly further anger me. "If you'll excuse me, I must get to my exams!"

"Damn, okay, I'll back off," Adrian sighed, "Nice seeing you then." He began to walk another way, leaving me in a state of utter- dammit, I'd made a fool of myself again! I kept walking, anxious… and stressed… and I seriously needed a breather. I arrived at the exam room roughly forty minutes before it was to begin, passing a check upon entry and taking my seat at my assigned desk. To calm myself, I did a mixture of deep breathing and meditation. By the time the test began, Adrian was in the back of my head. I silently thanked my mother's techniques of focus before receiving my test and beginning to work.

I was prepared for everything on the paper. Thank god there wasn't a section on relationships.

I was one of the first to finish. Finishing tests early was not something to pride oneself on, as Jeanine constantly reminded me, but I tended to do so anyway. Once I handed in my test I was allowed to leave, but the terms we were given lurked in my mind. For one, I was not allowed to disclose any of the questions or answers to anyone, nor was I allowed to mention the format.

I walked back to the apartment, before kicking back and taking a deep breath on the couch. I'd done it. It was over. And now I could finally get the relaxation I deserved. But all too quickly-

"Marianne, are you home already?" Jeanine hadn't been at work. I should've known. There was some hesitance- but I soon found the words to form an extremely weak sort of reply.

"Yes I am!" I replied quickly, closing my eyes to brace myself. Why did every conversation between the two of us feel like a burden? Perhaps it was just the natural order of things, at this point in time. I had stress pushing in on me from all sides- academics, love, and family. Someday I might just figure it out.

**Ahh such an abrupt end- maybe at some point I'll pick this back up again, but I think I'm going to attempt a rewrite.**


End file.
